FOOD RESTRICTIONS & APPETITE
My family circle has multiple dietary needs so I'm accustomed to cooking and creating individualized meals for each need. Low salt, low fat, no vitamin K, no soy, no this....no that. No matter how beautiful my painstaking preparations yielded, my loved one always felt cheated and unsatisfied. Our reminders that it was doctors orders and for his own good if he wanted to live longer and be healthy was dismissed with a turning away of his head and defiant wave of his hand. You can't force anyone to eat what they don't want.
For the last 8 months I have been trying to fatten up my dad who drastically dropped down to 110 pounds. A once robust man, he now lacked any appetite after fracturing his back in a boating mishap. His normal dietary restrictions meant nothing in the face of his disappearing muscle and physical flesh. Shoving pills and liquid protein drinks at him was brutal. In desperation I asked him what he wanted to eat and then make it with fattening things like butter and flour roux. My mind was saying, no! no! I'm killing him! but my eyes saw my dad withering away before me. He had lost so much weight and had become accostumed to the dulling effects of pain pills that his natural appetite was gone.
Family is all about solidarity. We have fun, we have the occasional disagreement but at the end of the day we plan and strategize together to problem solve. Even if it comes down to just one family member who holds out hope, we go with it.
Dad wanted apple strudel so I made it with Fuji apples on sale.
Although his appetite isn't what it used to be, he's gained some weight so we celebrate the small victories with more good food and glorious desserts.
The usual nursing home scene when I did my clinicals is seeing families urging and scolding their loved ones for not eating the awful tasteless food. It's like they get a bad grade for not finishing off cardboard and watery soup. The unhappy loved-one is dying of malnutrition and all they hear is that they're failing in some way over something that's out of their control.
But I admire these adult children's and spouse's perserverance in coming daily because of love and loyalty. I wasn't perfect either and made the same mistakes until I came to grips with what mattered most. We should all be so blessed to have faithful family like that and loved-ones who fuss over us.
I remember sneaking food into the nursing home facility for my grandma after she fell and needed rehab for several months. In a quiet whisper she told me she wished she could eat a kamaboko sandwich because the food was tasteless. I said ok but didn't know how to make that. I called on my mother-in-law who knows a lot about food and especially about these local specialities that are not on the menu. In fact she was nice enough to make it for me. Grandma was so ecstatic as she adjusted her tiny 85 lb body a bit higher on the bed and immedicately proceeded to devour the whole half sandwich in dozens of teeny tiny bites. She insisted that I bring the other half sandwich back the next day as she leaned back into her adjustable bed with a satisfied smile. I have to admit, it was a little bit exciting sneaking in a small cooler while trying to hide it all from the nurses.
It's always the little things in life that we seem to remember best. That I could do something so small in fulfilling Grandma's request for a kamaboko sandwich made my life a little more gratifying.