Are your parents and grandparents a little like mine?
If your parents or grandparents were self-sacrificing and frugal like mine, then you'll relate to this. You know how they were always taking care of everyone elses' needs but their own? And you also know how they'll never ask you for help or admit they need a hand because they know you're busy and never want to burden you?
Dad and mom always placed family first. We knew it by the choices they made, passing the best of the food to us and eating the leftovers. It never occurred to my siblings and myself that every decision and dollar spent was based on what was best for us because they never complained about it. Back when mom was a child, being the oldest of 4 siblings meant being automatically responsible for sacrificing everything for the sake of the younger ones. She was expected to be like a second mother. Mom is still that way today and convincing her that it's ok to get something new often throws me into the role of a convincing salesperson, pointing out the necessity and practicality of a new item. Thus, mom was and still is very frugal with herself so jewelry and the finer things in life never appealed to her.
Dad was also the oldest of 3 siblings and was a little bit of a rough and tumble rascal. Grandma told me that Grandpa had to lock him in the outdoor bathroom a few times. Boys being boys, he'd still find a way to escape. We sure got a lot of scoldings from dad whenever we did something wrong. If we tried to pull the "but other kids parents don't scold them," routine, he'd give us the scary stare and we'd all immediately go silent. Dad did what he said he was gonna do and meant what he said, "a man's only as good as his word period!" There was no sassing back, ever! Not that I had a comeback anyway but both parents taught us to respect authority as well as each other.
Friday's meant family dinner night out. Nothing fancy, just some drive-in or hole in the wall. We never knew we were poor. It was just fun to all pile into the car and go somewhere. My older brother and dad would order plate lunches (man size) and my mom and I ordered regular hamburgers wrapped in white paper and share a small order of plain fries. Can you imagine those were standard size burgers and today they're considered kiddie burgers? How we got to quarter pounders remains a mystery to me. And then there's my little brother always chanting "hot-dog....hot-dog....hot dog," which mom would indulge him with in spite of daddy's disappoving look. We all affectionately nicknamed him the "hot-dog boy."
If daddy didn't go fishing with the boys & male relatives on Sunday's, he'd take us for a drive around the island. We'd stop and swim at some beach along the way and later eat at at some hole-in-the-wall before heading home. I admire the motivation it took for both of my sleep deprived parents to consistently think up family activities to make life more interesting and fun.
They're older now but mom and I still laugh a lot.....together and sometimes at each other; and dad.......well......he's gonna always be the dad. You know how strong and determined those 442nd boys are. They've both had their share of health issues but that's for another blog post. Next time I'll tell you about the time he fractured his back and how I, instead of an ambulance I ended up driving him to the doctors and not the emergency room.